On your third date, the person you're seeing keeps talking about their ex — comparing restaurants to where they used to go, mentioning things their ex liked. They don't seem to realize they're doing it.
Kindly and directly let them know you've noticed the ex-mentions and that you'd like to focus on getting to know each other.
Positive framing activates the brain's approach system rather than its defense system. When people feel safe rather than criticized, they're far more receptive to feedback.
"I really want to get to know YOU — your favorites, your stories, your world. Can we keep this evening about us?"
Every choice tells you something about your style. Here's an honest read on each.
Start talking about your ex even more to give them a taste of their own medicine.
People who frequently reference exes are often still processing that chapter. It doesn't necessarily mean they're not interested in you — it means the past hasn't been fully integrated yet.
Kindly and directly let them know you've noticed the ex-mentions and that you'd like to focus on getting to know each other.
Positive framing activates the brain's approach system rather than its defense system. When people feel safe rather than criticized, they're far more receptive to feedback.
Ignore it and hope it stops naturally over time.
Small issues in early dating often become bigger issues later. Addressing things early — with kindness — sets a precedent for open communication.
Leave the date early — they're clearly not over their ex.
Psychologists distinguish between 'red flags' (patterns that indicate unavailability) and 'yellow flags' (one-time behaviors that deserve attention but not immediate judgment). One conversation can help you tell the difference.
Want to practice this with feedback for your exact answer?
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